Ridley Scott, the man that makes historians seethe, has been on a bit of a history kick as of late. Just last year he gave us Napoleon, and in 2021 he gave us both The Last Duel and House of Gucci. Say what you will about the quality of those films, the legendary director has found a way to game the industry and secure funding for a ton of films while other prominent directors struggle to even get a pitch meeting. But for every passion project, there’s a knock at the door from the studios asking Scott to revisit his past work for those sweet, sweet nostalgia dollars. It’s not Alien this time, but Gladiator, the 2000s historical epic starring Russel Crowe that today is regarded more or less as a classic that even secured itself five Academy Awards. 

It’s been a good ten or so years since I’ve seen that, but I remember it as an okay film elevated by some select scenes and performances. I didn’t have time to revisit before seeing the sequel, so the ‘Memberberries aren’t gonna play as big of a role here. But I have to give credit where credit is due; Ridley Scott can craft a hell of an epic. From large scale battles to semi-faithful historical recreations, Scott has more than proved himself capable of handling scale of this magnitude. I just wish he did it in more interesting movies is all.

Gladiator II features some stellar imagery, designs and brutality, but lacks a strong story at its forefront. This leads to an disappointingly lukewarm lead performance, which overtakes a much more compelling performance and story that should have set farther in the front. But historical accuracy be damned, the film does deliver on some decently fun set pieces that mostly do a decent job at coming off convincing despite their absurdity. I don’t think it’s going to overtake the original, but I don’t think it’s bad enough to feel completely unwarranted, though I can’t really believe Scott was truly passionate enough to return to the days of coliseums and feeling coarse sand in your hands.

Set 16 years after the death of Maximus, Rome lays siege to the city of Numidia, where a soldier named Hanno has his wife killed and is taken into slavery. But this is actually the son of Maximus named Lucious, who fled home after his father’s death. He becomes a gladiator under the ownership of slave turned stablemaster Macrinus, who looks to use Lucius’ fighting abilities to secure his ascension in Rome’s government, but all Lucius wants to do is kill the general that murdered his wife.

Look, I really like Paul Mescal. I think he is a fantastic actor with some riveting, down to earth roles under his belt. But here, as the lead gladiator Hanno aka Lucious…I don’t know, something just feels off. I’m struggling to figure out if this was a miscast or just poor direction, but Mescal does not carry the kind of gravitas you would expect for this role. He does look the part, but doesn’t exactly maintain a Crowe-like screen presence. He finds more success in the quieter, intimate moments, as that’s what he’s more known for, but his big displays of machismo don’t exactly always land. It doesn’t help that his motivation is pretty boring; his wife is killed and so now he has to work his way upwards to get to her murderer. Fridging is a pretty lazy story beat that can work, but there needs to be a little extra something there like John Wick. His relationship with his wife’s killer General Acacius, played by a serviceable Pedro Pascal, is given an interesting hook with him being the lover of his mother, but we never really get a lot of play between the two. Not to mention that some scenes with Lucious just fail to establish reasonable emotional weight, from his visions of his wife crossing over into death to his grappling with his imprisonment. I really wanted this to be a homerun for Mescal, but it just doesn’t have the legs it needed to run with.

But you want to talk about commanding the screen? Was there ever any doubt in Denzel Washington. Sure, he’s phoned in a performance here and there, but this man lives for the Shakesperean and the dramatic, and that’s what he delivers here. Washington, as Lucious’ slavemaster Macrinus, is a total scene chewer, working his way through the Roman hierarchy to secure as much power as he can. His rise from a slave to being someone who owns slaves of his own makes for a super compelling character, not willing to try to change the societal structures that held him down, but rather harness them for his own personal gain. “A slave only dreams of having a slave of his own”. This is a much more interesting story that completely walks all over the main plot, and I wish it could have been seated more at the forefront.

Last week I crapped on Red One for being a $250 million movie that did not look like one. Well, Gladiator II is, for the most part, quite the opposite. The recreation of Ancient Rome is crafted with both practical sets as well as mostly convincing digital effects. Except for a scene set in a flooded colosseum, you never really doubt the legitimacy of the settings our characters stand in. There’s even some animals that don’t feel too uncanny, from baboons to rhinos. Speaking of which, the battles with these beasts and others manage to be fun, but not nearly as batshit as I was hoping. The bare knuckle brawl with the baboons and the matador-esque bout with the gladiator on a rhino are silly, but not too out there to feel disjointed from the rest of the film. That kind of happens during a naval battle where the colosseum is filled with water and sharks, but you know what, I’m here for it. 

But this film does have an issue which I also found in Napoleon, where it feels like Scott doesn’t have much of a visual or directorial voice that has shined through in his recent films. There are some carryover elements, like inaccurate but consistent accents and an emphasis on large crowd creations, but overall I just didn’t find the style to be all that interesting. It certainly looks good and scenes are composed decently enough, but visual storytelling just feels like a second thought sometimes. Not to mention momentum just dips up and down throughout, especially when trying to juggle like three different parallel plots. 

It’s not a complete retread of the first film, but it more or less hits a lot of the same beats and character archetypes. It really makes me believe like this was a money move and not really a story Scott wanted to tell. Which, that’s fine and whatever, get your bag, but it makes me not want to put a ton of investment in these kinds of projects going forward.

Gladiator II is decent fun that will satisfy most looking for an easy watch with a bit of blood and sword fights. The attention to detail and scale is truly admirable, I just wish the story was given the same treatment. The main story is bland and predictable, while stuff like Macrinus’ journey felt like they belonged at the center. So, was I entertained? Meh. I wasn’t completely uninterested, but I did find myself a tad bored from time to time. At this point, Scott should just stick with one classic franchise. I’m dying to see more self-cest adventures with David and his other clones.

RATING

HIPPOCRAS

Did you know it’s incredibly easy to drink like the Romans did? Hippocras is a spiced wine concoction that has survived generations as a sort of mulled wine. Unlike mulled wine, however, this does not require a stovetop. Simply combine the ingredients, let them sit, and then serve hot, cold or room temperature. The spices come together in a Christmasy blend, while the sugar helps to sweeten it for those who don’t like their drinks too dry. The original recipe differs from this slightly, though this was made to be as accessible as possible. Most of these ingredients might be sitting in your spice rack right now!

INGREDIENTS

• 1 bottle red wine (dry wine preferably, like a pinot noir)
• 4 cinnamon sticks
• 2 inches peeled ginger
• 1/4tsp ground nutmeg
• 4 whole cloves
• 4 black peppercorns
• 2 sprigs rosemary
• 1/2 cup sugar

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Combine ingredients in a sealable container and let sit at room temperature for at least 24 hours.
2. Strain out left over spice remnants.
3. Serve at room temperature, or can be stored in the fridge to chill or heated on a saucepan.